When each person feels understood, the healing power of validation becomes real.
In our last article, we described an episode in the life of a couple, we called "Frank and Faye." The argument illustrated was an example of the same one they had over and over in different forms during their 25 years of marriage. The good news is they also enjoyed many positive experiences, as well. They just had difficulty getting over the negative feelings when the argument ended, and they were feeling unheard, frustrated, disconnected and distant. There's more good news, as well.
They decided they were sick and tired of being "sick and tired." They were getting stuck so often, and longer than either one wanted. Both were ready to explore their options. So, they got help as a couple. What they quickly discovered was the work to be done was personal and individual, within their relationship.
To their delight and surprise, Frank and Faye found success. They overcame their communication problems. They were no longer arguing, misunderstanding and not hearing each other – therefore not hurting each other when they disagreed. Both became aware of the root of their communication problem as well as the solution.
Then, they discovered what they could and could not change when their communication broke down:
Here are some examples of what Frank and Faye learned:
Instead of a spontaneous knee-jerk reaction, they could first cool down first and think through what they wanted to say to each other more proactively and effectively. Frank and Faye took this approach and had better results. Here's an example what they decided to change:
The Outcome? The more they implemented the four steps of what they could change, the closer and more connected they felt. This is because feeling heard does indeed heal.
Another surprise: While Frank and Faye did their individual work from the inside out, they also discovered ways to have more positive experiences that fostered happiness, love, fun, intimacy, and respect.
How did they do that?
They began with taking advantage of our Communicate to Connect Video Workshop at http://JesseandMelva.com. This complimentary 3-part video series helped Frank and Faye to discover their next step to creating a communication breakthrough in their relationship. Try it. It might help you too!
To Your Relationship Success,
Jesse and Melva Johnson
Learn more about them by visiting their website, www.jesseandmelva.com!