It's the end of 2020 (can I get an AMEN!) and that means time for some new goals, vision boards, and affirmations! But goal setting is a tricky thing. Because setting goals can sometimes feel like a wish list. A list of things we want to accomplish or do that will make us feel successful. It's really a dream list. The secret sauce behind goal setting is your "why-setting"…WHY do you want what you say you want?
That's the hardest part for most ….. because having that new car will make you feel important? or buying that house will make you feel like an adult? or losing the weight means you'll fit into that bikini again? or feel attractive enough to attract your dream mate?
All of those are valid, but they're also surface-level reasons why…and they will either keep you stuck, or you'll strive for more, go for your goals, but head right back to where you are and never really change.
It's not easy to go deeper. To really get to your source, you have to get quiet with yourself. And push back that nagging voice that tells you "you're not worthy of success." Give the microphone to that bolder voice inside you that yearns for more. That child inside that was vulnerable and shut down, let that child be vulnerable again….what would they want if they knew they couldn't fail?
I was working recently with a new client, we'll call her Claudia. Claudia and I were working together on this Supercharged Goal Setting. When I walk people through this exercise the first thing I have them do is write down their priorities. If someone's goal is to loose 20 lbs but their priority is to travel, then it's very unlikely they'll loose the weight because their priority is to travel NOT personal health.
If your priorities aren't in line with your goals, it's going to be a struggle to reach them and you're going to create more stress in your life. Putting your priorities and WHY in writing is the first step to creating a plan you can stick to and help you stay focused and inspired.
When Claudia and I started talking about this part, "why she wanted to loose weight" she started rattling off the easy reasons, "to feel and look fit", "to be complimented by my husband", "so I can fit into my clothes better", "to be healthy." I said. Ok, but then how come you continue to yo-yo and not feel your best? I questioned her why. She was a bit confused. And then we finally go to the answer.
Claudia grew up thinking she wasn't pretty. She looked like a boy and felt very ugly in school growing up with other girls who were a lot prettier than she was. Claudia always felt like she wasn't pretty enough. (light bulb moment for Claudia) – She still feels like she's not enough, not only does she feel that, she believes it to be her truth. She is just not a pretty woman.
Claudia shared her top 2 priorities are her health, and her family. Claudia loves her family and adores her baby granddaughter. All of a sudden Claudia's why became crystal clear to her. She wants to show the world who she really is. Specifically, her granddaughter, that Claudia is strong, healthy, and beautiful and so is her grandbaby girl!
Claudia realized something. She's afraid to leave this Earth without ever really feeling worthy of unconditional love. She wants to be around to watch her grandbaby grow, evolve, and thrive. That's WHY she wants to loose weight and be healthy. To stand up and be the true version of her spirit. Strong, unstoppable, and healthy. Not only to allow her own light to shine, but to show her granddaughter that she can too. To own her beauty and health and be alive and strong for her granddaughter.
Your heart, how you feel, is your compass. If we just took the time to listen to our hearts, listen to our emotions, and be vulnerable to the world, we will find freedom and true happiness. It's too easy to bombard ourselves with outside influences and move further and further away from our Source – our intelligence that lies within.
Your why is the essence, the energy that is going to keep you focused and inspired to keep reaching for your goals. Along the way obstacles will come, challenges will arise, the universe will test you, "how badly do you want this?" – it's your WHY that will act as your own personal GPS guiding you back on track to what you want.
What's the fire in your belly that keeps you reaching for your goals? Or a better question might be, what will happen if you don't reach your goals? – What do you gain by staying exactly where you are?
Writing down your goals is one thing. Writing down your goals knowing exactly WHY they are important to you? That's Super-Charged Goal Setting!
