Putting loving yourself at the top of your personal list.
I wasn't always this confident as a woman.
I wished you knew there were times I didn't believe in myself, multiple times I didn't love myself to be put first, and many times of not realizing how I was truly beautiful.
"I'm sorry for not putting you first…"
You see me walking down the street, flipping my hair to the side as I strut fast in confidence to the beat of the music that plays on my phone. As I turn to the side to flip my hair again, I catch the odd glances of individuals admiring me from a distance; some even as kind to stop me in my presence to compliment me – but, if only you knew.
For every time a joke was made, and I was the punch line, deep down I took it to heart and held my head down. For every time my relationships ended, I took a look in the "mirror" and questioned if I was attractive enough to anyone? For every time nothing went the way I planned, I blamed myself for being the biggest failure out there.
But you know what? If you cracked a joke about me today, I'd just laugh it off because I'M THAT CONFIDENT. For any relationship that does not work out, I now say "oh well," because I know what I bring to the table, so I walk away with PRIDE because I'M THAT CONFIDENT. For everything that does not go my way? But wait, I am human, so I keep pushing that much harder, striving, dreaming, knowing that I can accomplish ANYTHING in this WORLD because I'M THAT CONFIDENT.
"A person may break your heart and damage your pride, but never, ever, give them the POWER to break your SPIRIT…"
I didn't just wake up one morning in love with myself. It took me time to learn to embrace who I was and just to love myself every day regardless of others, or society's so called f–king opinions. I'm sorry I don't look a certain way that the world deems how every woman should look. Oh, I'm sorry I'm not fake to gain the approval of individuals that will probably mean nothing to me in a years time. Oh, I'm sorry I don't "laugh" or act a certain way that YOU think is ideal.
I am sorry that I allowed anyone to make me feel unattractive. I am sorry I allowed anyone to make me feel stupid. I am sorry I allowed anyone to think I wasn't successful enough. But most importantly, I am so…so…so sorry…(long sigh)…I allowed anyone the right ever to break my spirit.
I don't know how to explain it all within this article, but one day, I just snapped out of it. Any joke of the past, I realized were your issues of insecurity; and, you used me as your scapegoat because I was too nice and would supposedly laugh it off. Any jokes about my appearance were diversions because deep down you actually saw just how beautiful I was; it was your insecurities attempting not to let me see my own beauty. For any relationship which did not work out, I walked away, not because I didn't think I was good enough for YOU, but because I realized you just never deserved me. For those who thought I could not succeed, the truth was you were afraid of failing, so you attempted to bring me down with you.
In time, I began to see everything in a more positive perspective. I grew to realize that deep within it was the insecurity of others that attempted to push those down that were left standing strong! It was the ones that were afraid of failing that kept telling me that I could not succeed. In that moment, during that reflection, I stopped worrying about the opinions of invalid people.
"Insecure people bring you down, to lift themselves up. Strong people don't push others down, they lift them up"
I'm not taking away from articles I've read that teach us how to build our confidence. But really? How can you give me a 10-step process without knowing me? How can we guide anyone if we don't really know where they're coming from or how they feel in their situation? I do know that we all have different ways of coping, embracing, and learning. I don't know exactly when you will build that confidence, but I can tell you from experience that it will happen if you take the time to focus on YOU.
In time, you will gain confidence blended with the security of learning not to give a f–k about random people, and to remove yourself from the toxic and negative part of this world. If we embrace and focus on appeasing ourselves first and foremost, you naturally start caring less about things that just don't matter and don't validate our existence.
"Your confidence is key to MANY things in life …
It leads to your successes in life to keep pushing for more because when all else fails, or if someone makes you feel like you can't…
Your own confidence will tell you…YES you can"
Embrace yourself, love yourself, and fall in love with yourself over and over again. Realize that when you think you can't, there is the truth that you really can. Grow to understand that life does not revolve around those that do not matter because once you do, you have yet to see, just how beautiful YOU HAVE ALWAYS been…
Sharon Angela Lee
Sharon Angela Lee is an empowered, inspired writer from the blog, YAIMSHARON.COM. She says, "I truly believe we all have dreams, whether people believe it will happen or not, it does not matter because it all starts with YOU. We pave our paths to create our destiny and what differentiates us from the rest is we NEVER stop BELIEVING. YOU are the reason to why I wake up and continue to blog. So that we can all grow to love ourselves that much more."
Make sure you read her blog and stay in touch via social media!